i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
