Will you blow on my dice?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
