I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
