And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
