i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
