I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
