Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
