I just saw a hot homeless man
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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