Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
