Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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