Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
