youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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