is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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