At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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