she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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