Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You need a sexual gate keeper
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
