omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
