I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
