My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
