I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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