there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
