??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ugly people sure do ruin things
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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