i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize