he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
