Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
