So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
