Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
