There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
