Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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