We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
