i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
