Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
