So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
