I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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