Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
