guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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