If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
