He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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