Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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