o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
