Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
