he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
