Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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