she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
