he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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