Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
