Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
