She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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