first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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