i permit you to call me
My hand turned me down
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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