woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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