I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
