We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
vagina is talking i cant
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Terrible idea I love it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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