Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
