Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I miss vodka workout Fridays
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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