the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
