By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
